Outside of the hurt, both emotional and financial, what strikes me about this entire scenario is how totally strange it is. This isn't 1980s banking or insider trading. This is running and triathlon coaching. Runners and triathletes are by and large good people. We inherently trust one another, its a great community of people. I hardly ever come across a runner or triathlete who isn't selfless and all around wonderful. So that is a big reason why as this slowly unfolded over the years, I hard a hard time wrapping my head around what was happening. Small, growing business in the field that I love. A smart, charismatic leader. A team of amazing runners and triathletes from all walks of life. It felt like family.
I often get stuck on the "what could have beens." The whole thing could have been so great! And that part is frustrating to me. If things were just done above the board, if promises were kept, decisions and orders (gear, entries, prizes, etc) followed through on, if it was run the way it was "supposed to" be run, it could have been so great. We had a brilliant leader, we were surrounded by dedicated, wonderful people. If it could have just been left to that, go grow at a reasonable rate. To take care of each athlete. Not out for world domination. Not out to be the biggest, to make the most money. Just a really awesome groups of folks, reaching their potential in athletics.
So why, then? What drove our boss to the path of relentless growth and chasing the almighty dollar? We were asked to market non-stop. To get into every Facebook group and every Twitter "chat." To answer questions and market ourselves. The goal was to be the biggest name in multisport training. It was overwhelming. I never signed up to be 24/7 on social media. And realistically, outside of just devoting yourself entirely to it, how could anyone? I have a family. I train. I enjoy my life outside of the computer. How on earth could anyone be involved in dozens of groups, both established and ones my boss created?
We were asked to reach out to businesses, to offer to do clinics and write up pre-built training plans. I was pushed early on to "get into" Microsoft. To go down to every local running store and offer to lead runs, to give form clinics. Bear in mind, I was brand spanking new at this. What I needed at was a mentor, a leader. I wasn't ready to be out on my own. I wasn't ready, or honestly interested in what felt to me like barging my way into groups and businesses and plugging the company. It felt intrusive to me. A lot of those groups don't want coaches or anyone soliciting in them. Its a safe place for athletes to talk about training, and I felt very uncomfortable soliciting without an invitation. Granted, if our boss had invitation to do so, he never told us that. It was just expected that it would be done.
I would focus on our team page, answer questions and to his credit my boss was generally supportive of the answers I would give. I was one of the lucky ones, however. Others would get openly chastised, both on-line and at races. Again, something I could not wrap my head around. Why would you demean an employee in front of a group of people, virtual or in person? My only answer to that is jealously. My boss had to be on top, had to be the best, the most loved. He seemed not to be able to stand when someone else was well-liked, or had a nickname in a group.
One time I got yelled at for admitting that I drank chocolate milk, for post workout recovery. It was humiliating. Apparently milk is the devil's drink. For baby cows, not people. Regardless of your take on dairy, I for one eat cheese and yogurt. I used to do an occasional chocolate milk after a run, although now I use another product I like better. I gave up dairy after that incident. And you know how I felt? Pretty much the same as I had before. After about 8 months of that I went back to yogurt and cheese. My boss used to scream about how there is no way the elite athletes who endorse chocolate milk as a recovery drink (Ironman training, specifically) actually drink the stuff themselves. I felt vindicated when a couple years later, during a podcast interview, one of those very elite athletes talked about eating cheese and ice cream during heavy training. When you're doing huge volume, your calorie needs must be met for fuel and recovery. Sometimes you need to eat what your body wants - and if cheese is the thing, well, it was refreshing to hear an elite athlete talk about it.
The first really big red flag I got was when one of the other coaches left. He just could not in good conscience work for my boss anymore. This was the first time I heard that my boss had a "past." A "past" can mean a lot of things. I did not Google it. I guess I didn't want to know. And people that I trusted, trusted my boss. He claimed to have made mistakes and atoned for it. At the time, that was good enough for me. I was also getting in deep at that point. I had a handful of clients, and I loved the work. Had I Googled his name, had I read what happened a decade ago...would I have left? I don't know. What I do know is that what I was seeing happening around me, with orders left unfilled, prizes left unsent, Training Peaks popping up "past due," the fact that everything went directly to his personal PayPal account with no tracking....I think I would have seen all that in a very different light.
The first few months of the job, things were pretty good. It wasn't really until the Holiday season, that I started to notice that things just weren't adding up. There was a 5k holiday challenge. People worked hard, charted their progress, etc. At the end of it, I don't think anyone got any of the prizes they were promised. There was also a "teammate of the month" program that went for a couple months then fizzled out. There were orders taken for gear and nutrition products, never delivered. And shoes. Lots and lots of shoe orders. How many of those were filled, I will never know. What was hard about those situations is that sometimes people would ask us what was going on and I had zero answers to give. We weren't in charge of any of that, nor did we even know who to contact. My boss apparently had all these contacts at various retailers, none of which I ever met or had contact with. It was frustrating and embarrassing to be asked "where is my XXX, I ordered that a couple months ago." I would ask my boss and would get "its on the way," or no response at all.
It was about that time that I started slowly talking to some of the other coaches about the problem of lack of follow through. It looked unprofessional and reflected badly on us. We did what we could to remedy that, sometimes it came out of our own pockets. I know we weren't the only ones who "gave" or "invested" in the business. I consider myself lucky that largely it was just my time and not a large chunk of money. For me, it was in the hundreds of dollars range. There was a "get Coach to Kona" campaign that I donated to. It raised a lot of money for the Challenged Athletes foundation, but apparently it was just shy of the amount needed for the Kona slot. Or so we were told. I am unclear about the details and I am not saying there was inpropriety, all I am saying is that I do not know the details. I also donated some money to another charity that was formed later. This is a contentious topic that I feel uncomfortable touching on, although when the time comes in the story I will say what I can, diplomatically, about it. This is my story.
Friday, December 19, 2014
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Part One of "Until I am Done."
I am going to tell my story and I don't know how long it will take. It doesn't matter. It will take as long as it needs to. What happened isn't something that I can just walk away from. This is my catharsis. It needs to happen. And I hope it is helpful to anyone else who had a similar experience. Because I know you are out there. My message to you- you are not alone. My story is a just a small part of a much bigger scenario. One that has gone on for well over a decade and involves dozens if not hundreds of people, a lot of time and money utterly spent. A lot of hurt feelings and broken hearts.
It all started with a post. A post advertising the need for some new coaches. One male and one female. My old boss wasn't my coach. Let me be crystal clear about that. My coach is someone else - someone who is near and dear to me, someone who knows me well, has been with me through two Ironmans and I have lost count of how many marathons, halfs, and triathlons. Someone who not only knows how to train my body but my mind. I would not be the athlete I am today without his guidance.
I saw the post, and thought, I can do that! Running and multi-sport is my life. Outside of family, running and triathlons are my absolute passion. I feel a kinship with running, almost as if it was an entity or a person. Its a deep, visceral relationship. I love to swim, the freedom I feel in the water. Cycling and I have a more difficult relationship, although I am grateful for it because it is my weakness. A place where I can focus and grow. I hadn't "worked" outside the home since the kids were born. And now that they were in elementary school (at the time I took the job), I felt like I had the time to work, and I was excited about the prospect.
The initial interview was on the phone. I talked to the head of the company, who at the time was working with his wife. I had seen her on-line, heard her voice. I knew I liked her but unfortunately I never had a chance to get to know her. I dealt almost 100% with my boss, including the first phone interview. The deal was this. The company was growing, and they needed help. We were to take on some of the older clients, as well as bring on own new clients. At some point, early on, I specifically remember my boss saying "I'm done. I'm done." He often joked about retiring to some island. He is a smart guy, and it seemed to me that his business was growing and he needed help. There seemed to be a couple other coaches working with him, but I didn't know them going in, and didn't know to what extent they were involved. It turns out that there were, if memory serves, 7 of us hired. We were asked to take the ITCA certification course. It was a busy time. 70.3 training, raising the girls, running the house. I would get up very early each morning and spend 1-2 hours reading the materials, studying, and answering some on-line questions. I felt like the ITCA was very comprehensive, and worth my time. I learned a lot. I will say that I found myself utilizing my old anatomy book often to further my education.
The next step was to travel to a coaches camp. 8 days. I had never left my family for so long. I was grateful to my husband for taking some time off work/working from home so I could go. He has always been supportive of me. I am thankful for him.
I didn't know what to expect at coach training. I figured it would be intense, that we would learn everything we needed to know. And we learned a lot. We were up every day, very early. We ran some, spent a day at the pool, did LT tests, were taught about the importance of getting to know each athlete and their lifestyle. I met most of the other coaches. Four of us stayed with our boss. The other two were local, but by that time they apparently weren't going to do the job anymore. I was not told by my boss specifically why, although I heard a reason or two from someone else. We did meet them, when we spent the entire day working at a booth at a 70. 3 expo that just happened to be taking place when we were there. They both seemed like nice people, although their exchanges with my boss felt awkward.
There were 2 campers there that week. They had signed up for a trail camp. Very nice women and such good sports. They didn't seem upset that there was a coaching camp also going on that week. Thank goodness a local runner who they knew met up with them and took them running a few times. I felt bad that they were brought to the Expo. That's not what they signed up for. Working at the booth was a good learning experience, although a bit stressful for me.. I didn't know ANYTHING about the shoe and had to pick it up really quick, in order to answer any questions people had. Thank goodness one of the other new coaches did know about it and filled us in. Little did I know that this would be the first of many, many situations where were just "thrown in" and left to fend for ourselves, to sink, or to swim.
I have days where I wish I could go back in time, and not see that post. The past two years of my life would have been way less stressful. Stress that caused me friendships, took up my valuable time, and had a secondary affect on my family. But if I didn't see that post, didn't experience all that crazy stuff, I wouldn't be at the place I am now. A new company, a new opportunity. Where my business partner and I are in charge. And we learned everything about what NOT to do. Our mission is to be completely above the board and ethical in every way. Our mission is to provide the best possible coaching for each of our athletes. To see them as the amazing individuals that they are. To help them dig deep, to reach their potential.
Is telling my story ethical? I have asked myself this many times. I will not name any names, or say any places. I will not lie. People that I care about have been hurt. And some of them hurt way worse than me. I only took a small financial hit, but I know other people took a big one. I am going to tell my story.
It all started with a post. A post advertising the need for some new coaches. One male and one female. My old boss wasn't my coach. Let me be crystal clear about that. My coach is someone else - someone who is near and dear to me, someone who knows me well, has been with me through two Ironmans and I have lost count of how many marathons, halfs, and triathlons. Someone who not only knows how to train my body but my mind. I would not be the athlete I am today without his guidance.
I saw the post, and thought, I can do that! Running and multi-sport is my life. Outside of family, running and triathlons are my absolute passion. I feel a kinship with running, almost as if it was an entity or a person. Its a deep, visceral relationship. I love to swim, the freedom I feel in the water. Cycling and I have a more difficult relationship, although I am grateful for it because it is my weakness. A place where I can focus and grow. I hadn't "worked" outside the home since the kids were born. And now that they were in elementary school (at the time I took the job), I felt like I had the time to work, and I was excited about the prospect.
The initial interview was on the phone. I talked to the head of the company, who at the time was working with his wife. I had seen her on-line, heard her voice. I knew I liked her but unfortunately I never had a chance to get to know her. I dealt almost 100% with my boss, including the first phone interview. The deal was this. The company was growing, and they needed help. We were to take on some of the older clients, as well as bring on own new clients. At some point, early on, I specifically remember my boss saying "I'm done. I'm done." He often joked about retiring to some island. He is a smart guy, and it seemed to me that his business was growing and he needed help. There seemed to be a couple other coaches working with him, but I didn't know them going in, and didn't know to what extent they were involved. It turns out that there were, if memory serves, 7 of us hired. We were asked to take the ITCA certification course. It was a busy time. 70.3 training, raising the girls, running the house. I would get up very early each morning and spend 1-2 hours reading the materials, studying, and answering some on-line questions. I felt like the ITCA was very comprehensive, and worth my time. I learned a lot. I will say that I found myself utilizing my old anatomy book often to further my education.
The next step was to travel to a coaches camp. 8 days. I had never left my family for so long. I was grateful to my husband for taking some time off work/working from home so I could go. He has always been supportive of me. I am thankful for him.
I didn't know what to expect at coach training. I figured it would be intense, that we would learn everything we needed to know. And we learned a lot. We were up every day, very early. We ran some, spent a day at the pool, did LT tests, were taught about the importance of getting to know each athlete and their lifestyle. I met most of the other coaches. Four of us stayed with our boss. The other two were local, but by that time they apparently weren't going to do the job anymore. I was not told by my boss specifically why, although I heard a reason or two from someone else. We did meet them, when we spent the entire day working at a booth at a 70. 3 expo that just happened to be taking place when we were there. They both seemed like nice people, although their exchanges with my boss felt awkward.
There were 2 campers there that week. They had signed up for a trail camp. Very nice women and such good sports. They didn't seem upset that there was a coaching camp also going on that week. Thank goodness a local runner who they knew met up with them and took them running a few times. I felt bad that they were brought to the Expo. That's not what they signed up for. Working at the booth was a good learning experience, although a bit stressful for me.. I didn't know ANYTHING about the shoe and had to pick it up really quick, in order to answer any questions people had. Thank goodness one of the other new coaches did know about it and filled us in. Little did I know that this would be the first of many, many situations where were just "thrown in" and left to fend for ourselves, to sink, or to swim.
I have days where I wish I could go back in time, and not see that post. The past two years of my life would have been way less stressful. Stress that caused me friendships, took up my valuable time, and had a secondary affect on my family. But if I didn't see that post, didn't experience all that crazy stuff, I wouldn't be at the place I am now. A new company, a new opportunity. Where my business partner and I are in charge. And we learned everything about what NOT to do. Our mission is to be completely above the board and ethical in every way. Our mission is to provide the best possible coaching for each of our athletes. To see them as the amazing individuals that they are. To help them dig deep, to reach their potential.
Is telling my story ethical? I have asked myself this many times. I will not name any names, or say any places. I will not lie. People that I care about have been hurt. And some of them hurt way worse than me. I only took a small financial hit, but I know other people took a big one. I am going to tell my story.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Seeking catharsis.
I have started and stopped this post multiple times. Written a little, then deleted it all. Thought to myself, its not worth it. Don't rock the boat. Take the high road. Turn your back and walk away. Fear of retribution, fear of social media backlash, I suppose these are the reasons why. But for some reason I can't. I can't walk away this time. I am too angry. Angry over what happened, and the unfairness that was caused to so many people. I am angry at myself for letting it go on so long. For continuing to use "its going to get better when...(fill in the blank) happens." Over and over, and it never got better. Things only got worse.
Someone said to me once stop skirting around the issue. When are we going to post without the vagueness, without being cryptic. My answer? I don't know. And, really, can we? A lot of really bad stuff happened, but from my end it is primarily hearsay. And in this litigious world, can I risk slander? Can I? Would you?
Two years. Two years of "it was supposed to be this way." Two years of broken promises, lack of follow through, money for entries, gear, "pre-orders," etc, taken with no delivery. Two years of "its just bad organization", this person just doesn't keep good records, give him a break. Two years of throwing whatever at the wall, to see what sticks. And when nothing stuck, being left to pick up the pieces.
I stayed because I believe people can change. And a charismatic, smart leader can convince you of anything. You can be convinced that things were all just a big misunderstanding, and that there was never any mal intent. You can be convinced that "the right people were talked to, and your "fill in the blank" is on the way. Nothing like your race wheels showing up about 10 days before an Ironman....when you paid and allegedly "ordered" them 4 months before. And then knowing that you were one of the lucky ones because you actually received what you paid for.
Looking back, I was a fool. I was a fool to stay for so long. And I only had myself to blame. I loved the actual job so much, loved the people that I worked with so much, that I didn't want to go. I wanted to keep it together for the sake of everyone around me. And I still wanted to believe that things would get better. If only this, or, if only that. Circumstances that never came to pass. When I heard all the stories, all the stories of what happened to other people. Why they left, I was angry. Overwhelmed, sad, angry, this all felt so unfair. How could one person cause so much hurt and continue to get away with it? Because most people walk away. Most people cut their losses and move on. Why can't I do the same? Why do I feel this nagging, tugging pull that there must be justice? I have moments where I can do it. Where that little voice isn't whispering in my head. That little voice that says, you have to stand up and do something about this! It is YOUR responsibility to tell your story and not let this happen to anyone else.
I am exhausted by it. For two years, I struggled and worked and was used. Mental abuse at the hands of a charismatic leader is nothing to overlook. It is not something that people can just let go of and just move on from. Running won't be enough therapy this time. Writing, meditation, and time and what is needed for me. And you know what? I matter. I am a real person, with real feelings. A family and friends who love me. I matter. And what happened to me mattered. What happened to other people mattered.
I am not crazy. I am not a liar. I am not a victim. I am someone who was excited about a new venture, a new opportunity. I am someone who worked hard, who tried her best. I did ignore the warning signs, the red flags. I have to forgive myself for that. I have to forgive myself before I can begin to forgive someone else.
I am just one person. One story. One voice that cannot tolerant unjustness in the world. One soul that despite all that has happened, has not lost faith. I believe people can change. I believe this happened for a reason. I am still sorting out the pieces and putting them back in the right way. This is not old news. My heart hurts. And I matter.
Someone said to me once stop skirting around the issue. When are we going to post without the vagueness, without being cryptic. My answer? I don't know. And, really, can we? A lot of really bad stuff happened, but from my end it is primarily hearsay. And in this litigious world, can I risk slander? Can I? Would you?
Two years. Two years of "it was supposed to be this way." Two years of broken promises, lack of follow through, money for entries, gear, "pre-orders," etc, taken with no delivery. Two years of "its just bad organization", this person just doesn't keep good records, give him a break. Two years of throwing whatever at the wall, to see what sticks. And when nothing stuck, being left to pick up the pieces.
I stayed because I believe people can change. And a charismatic, smart leader can convince you of anything. You can be convinced that things were all just a big misunderstanding, and that there was never any mal intent. You can be convinced that "the right people were talked to, and your "fill in the blank" is on the way. Nothing like your race wheels showing up about 10 days before an Ironman....when you paid and allegedly "ordered" them 4 months before. And then knowing that you were one of the lucky ones because you actually received what you paid for.
Looking back, I was a fool. I was a fool to stay for so long. And I only had myself to blame. I loved the actual job so much, loved the people that I worked with so much, that I didn't want to go. I wanted to keep it together for the sake of everyone around me. And I still wanted to believe that things would get better. If only this, or, if only that. Circumstances that never came to pass. When I heard all the stories, all the stories of what happened to other people. Why they left, I was angry. Overwhelmed, sad, angry, this all felt so unfair. How could one person cause so much hurt and continue to get away with it? Because most people walk away. Most people cut their losses and move on. Why can't I do the same? Why do I feel this nagging, tugging pull that there must be justice? I have moments where I can do it. Where that little voice isn't whispering in my head. That little voice that says, you have to stand up and do something about this! It is YOUR responsibility to tell your story and not let this happen to anyone else.
I am exhausted by it. For two years, I struggled and worked and was used. Mental abuse at the hands of a charismatic leader is nothing to overlook. It is not something that people can just let go of and just move on from. Running won't be enough therapy this time. Writing, meditation, and time and what is needed for me. And you know what? I matter. I am a real person, with real feelings. A family and friends who love me. I matter. And what happened to me mattered. What happened to other people mattered.
I am not crazy. I am not a liar. I am not a victim. I am someone who was excited about a new venture, a new opportunity. I am someone who worked hard, who tried her best. I did ignore the warning signs, the red flags. I have to forgive myself for that. I have to forgive myself before I can begin to forgive someone else.
I am just one person. One story. One voice that cannot tolerant unjustness in the world. One soul that despite all that has happened, has not lost faith. I believe people can change. I believe this happened for a reason. I am still sorting out the pieces and putting them back in the right way. This is not old news. My heart hurts. And I matter.
Monday, October 20, 2014
A few thoughts, here and there.
In 14 days, I will be in a corral, at the starting line of the New York Marathon. Or not. I have an entry, which I worked very hard to secure by running a qualifying time for the half. That half marathon was one of my proudest races, one I will never forget. Someday I hope to run a half as fast as that one again. My run speed has taken a hit in the past year or so. First with an injury that kept me out of the sport for 10 months, then getting into Ironman. There isn't a lot of room for a lot of raw speedwork during IM training. I know my body, what it is capable of, its limitations. Someday I'll revisit the goal of a fast half, but right now IM is what I am up to.
2014 was awesome. IMCdA, Fat Salmon open water swim, Black Diamond Oly and Beat the Blerch half marathon. Then...BAM. Plantar fasciitis reared its disgustingly ugly head. Again. I had PF in my left foot in 2012, which forced the 10 months off running. With lots of rehab and acupuncture, I was back in the game in 2013. Everything was great until it hit in the right foot, hard, about a month ago. Of course the worst day was right after we bought our plane tickets to NYC. To run, or not to run. That was the question. An iconic race like NYC - I don't want to miss it. Especially after how hard I worked to get there. On the other hand, my training took a hit, missing key build weeks. Sometimes you can run through PF. But when its so bad that it feels like someone is stabbing the bottom of your foot...not so much. I took a couple weeks off and cross trained, rehabbed it, cortisoned it and acupunctured it. I did a couple test runs. One 3 miles (no). Later one 8 miles (ok). Then one 13 miles (ok but not super great). I started thinking in my head...I do not want to even try to run this marathon. What? That is not me. Anyone who knows me well knows I am pretty determined when it comes to running and triathlon. Why wasn't I motivated to make it to the finish line of one of the most amazing marathons? As with most runners, runs are when we do a lot of deep thinking and that 13 miler was full of deep thoughts. Where was my usual badassery? Where was my mojo? Why was it occurring to me that it might be better to spectate this one instead of running it?
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Or maybe an epiphany. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to hurt in body, and I especially don't want to hurt in mind. Some of you may know I recently left a job I was doing for 2 years. So if you don't want to hear anymore about it...then read no further. But the rest of the blog is my catharsis. Getting some things off my chest that I need to release. Is it selfish? I don't know. Can't I just let it go? I'm trying. So here goes.
I'm reluctant to go into great detail. People reading this who know me will know why. I will say that I loved many aspects of my old job. That's why I am still doing it, except now I am working in a different environment, one that is amazing and makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. But one cannot work anywhere that makes them unhappy. One cannot be in a relationship or situation that makes them unhappy. Everyone has their breaking point. You try to keep it together, to make it work. You try and try. You don't accept when things fall through, or there is lack of follow through. You try to make it right. Words are said, you are cut down. Again and again. You train, you try to find joy in things like running that you used to find joy in. You want to know my breaking point? When I had a panic attack during a run. This actually happened twice and the second time it was really bad. I couldn't breathe at all. I had to stop. I was crying, trying to breathe, trying to calm down. I had passed a friend on the trail. We smiled and waved to each other. She looked so beautiful, and happy. Running. She was free. A thought popped in my head. I used to be like that. I used to run happy and free. My runs? They had become my escape. I WAS running from something. And that's when it happened. I totally broke down. I stopped, cried, regained my breathing. Deep breaths. I made it the few miles back home. And that was it. That was the moment I had to look in the mirror and say "I matter." I am worthwhile, I matter.
Did I leave the job the in the best way possible? Probably not. Not giving 2 weeks notice was unprofessional. But let me tell you this. Desperation makes people do things differently than if they were in a calm state. And ultimately, employees get disgruntled. They leave. Its capitalism. Especially employees who have been pushed to the edge. And sometimes you have to do what is right for yourself, for your family. Because me as an unhappy wife and mother isn't good for anybody. And my family is who I care most about. They matter. I matter.
The following weeks after leaving were emotional. I had NO plan. I just knew something needed to change. Fortunately things fell into place...one after another. And now, a few months later, I can say that I am healing. I am better. There is less anxiety. I am happier. And I matter.
So where will I be in 2 weeks? I don't know. But whatever happens, I am content with it. My PF will heal, life and training will go on. I am in a good place. I am happier, my family is happier. I can breathe again.
2014 was awesome. IMCdA, Fat Salmon open water swim, Black Diamond Oly and Beat the Blerch half marathon. Then...BAM. Plantar fasciitis reared its disgustingly ugly head. Again. I had PF in my left foot in 2012, which forced the 10 months off running. With lots of rehab and acupuncture, I was back in the game in 2013. Everything was great until it hit in the right foot, hard, about a month ago. Of course the worst day was right after we bought our plane tickets to NYC. To run, or not to run. That was the question. An iconic race like NYC - I don't want to miss it. Especially after how hard I worked to get there. On the other hand, my training took a hit, missing key build weeks. Sometimes you can run through PF. But when its so bad that it feels like someone is stabbing the bottom of your foot...not so much. I took a couple weeks off and cross trained, rehabbed it, cortisoned it and acupunctured it. I did a couple test runs. One 3 miles (no). Later one 8 miles (ok). Then one 13 miles (ok but not super great). I started thinking in my head...I do not want to even try to run this marathon. What? That is not me. Anyone who knows me well knows I am pretty determined when it comes to running and triathlon. Why wasn't I motivated to make it to the finish line of one of the most amazing marathons? As with most runners, runs are when we do a lot of deep thinking and that 13 miler was full of deep thoughts. Where was my usual badassery? Where was my mojo? Why was it occurring to me that it might be better to spectate this one instead of running it?
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Or maybe an epiphany. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to hurt in body, and I especially don't want to hurt in mind. Some of you may know I recently left a job I was doing for 2 years. So if you don't want to hear anymore about it...then read no further. But the rest of the blog is my catharsis. Getting some things off my chest that I need to release. Is it selfish? I don't know. Can't I just let it go? I'm trying. So here goes.
I'm reluctant to go into great detail. People reading this who know me will know why. I will say that I loved many aspects of my old job. That's why I am still doing it, except now I am working in a different environment, one that is amazing and makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. But one cannot work anywhere that makes them unhappy. One cannot be in a relationship or situation that makes them unhappy. Everyone has their breaking point. You try to keep it together, to make it work. You try and try. You don't accept when things fall through, or there is lack of follow through. You try to make it right. Words are said, you are cut down. Again and again. You train, you try to find joy in things like running that you used to find joy in. You want to know my breaking point? When I had a panic attack during a run. This actually happened twice and the second time it was really bad. I couldn't breathe at all. I had to stop. I was crying, trying to breathe, trying to calm down. I had passed a friend on the trail. We smiled and waved to each other. She looked so beautiful, and happy. Running. She was free. A thought popped in my head. I used to be like that. I used to run happy and free. My runs? They had become my escape. I WAS running from something. And that's when it happened. I totally broke down. I stopped, cried, regained my breathing. Deep breaths. I made it the few miles back home. And that was it. That was the moment I had to look in the mirror and say "I matter." I am worthwhile, I matter.
Did I leave the job the in the best way possible? Probably not. Not giving 2 weeks notice was unprofessional. But let me tell you this. Desperation makes people do things differently than if they were in a calm state. And ultimately, employees get disgruntled. They leave. Its capitalism. Especially employees who have been pushed to the edge. And sometimes you have to do what is right for yourself, for your family. Because me as an unhappy wife and mother isn't good for anybody. And my family is who I care most about. They matter. I matter.
The following weeks after leaving were emotional. I had NO plan. I just knew something needed to change. Fortunately things fell into place...one after another. And now, a few months later, I can say that I am healing. I am better. There is less anxiety. I am happier. And I matter.
So where will I be in 2 weeks? I don't know. But whatever happens, I am content with it. My PF will heal, life and training will go on. I am in a good place. I am happier, my family is happier. I can breathe again.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
IRONMAN LAKE TAHOE 2013 RACE REPORT
The inaugural IMLT took place September 22nd, 2013. I flew down the Monday before the race, in order to get acclimated to the elevation (6250 ft). I live outside of Seattle, in the suburb of Sammamish (so basically sea level).
I was fortunate enough to be able to stay with my brother-in-law, who lives in Incline Village, which is 4-5 miles from King's Beach (swim start and T1). T2 is located up at Squaw Valley, about a 40 minute drive from Incline Village. Huge thanks to Ryan Adamson to putting me up for the week!
The first thing I did Monday after getting settled was head down to the beach at Incline to get in a practice swim. I wanted to check out the water temperature, as well and get a sense of how the altitude would affect my swim. It was in the high 70s Monday, and I swam late afternoon. The water temp was excellent and I didn't feel any altitude affect, to my surprise (having swum at altitude before, I knew it could be a factor). I met a nice lady from the East Coast on the beach, who wished me luck on race day.
Tuesday I drove up to 8,000 feet, just shy of Mt. Rose. The plan was to run at Mt. Rose (9,000), but due to the high winds I felt it prudent to head back to the valley, where there was another hiking trail (Tahoe Rim Trail). It was a cold morning, but beautiful. Running on the flats was fine, but any incline was immediately difficult. Bonus to altitude - Garmin finds satellites really fast. Here is a picture of my run:
Wednesday was another swim day. I went early in the morning, to simulate race day as best I could. The wind really picked up Tuesday (there was a wind advisory) and the temperature dropped. I knew all the churn would affect the water temperature. The Wednesday swim was cold. The air temp was around 40 and the water temp low 60s. Swimming in the clear water with the sun shining was beautiful, despite the cold. I did 3125 yards in 50 minutes and was pleased with how I felt. Here is a pic of me post swim:
Said goodbye to my husband and went with the other athlete's to wait in the Event Center, a heated building just next to T1. It was nice to warm up a bit and get some water. Finally we were called to head down to the swim start. Dropped off my morning clothes bag on the way. The sun was finally coming up and there was steam rising off the lake. With the snow-capped mountains in the background, it was quite breathtaking.
The start was a self-seed, based on predicted time. I seeding myself conservatively, in the 1:10-1:20 group. I knew I would swim faster than 1:10, and in hindsight, I should have gone with the 1:00-1:10 group, where I really belonged. I ended up passing a lot of people during the first part of the swim. The corral system worked great. I whipped off my old socks that I had over the booties and tossed them with everyone else's stuff (sandals, socks, gloves). I was grateful for the swim booties, as my feet weren't feeling the cold sand at all. Lake Tahoe is quite shallow for a ways out, so we all had to walk out to where it was deep enough to start swimming, and where the timing began.
It was cold in the shallow water at the start. But quickly warmed up to about 61 or 62 the deeper we got out. I was feeling great. I LOVE open water swimming. I swim late spring through early fall outside. I know my coach would like it if I got in the pool, but I have all winter for that. I am good in the open water - it is my strength. I can swim straight, sight well, and I don't mind the grabbing/whacking/bumping that goes on in a big race. I am in my element in that environment. When I get grabbed or bumped, it just fuels the fire. The swim was crowded, and the steam made it tricky to sight, but I was in the zone and having the time of my life, and with comfortable toes thanks to the Aquaman booties. The swim was 2 loops, with no leaving the water, although it was quite shallow getting to the second loop. Most people were trying to walk/wade, but I kept swimming, as I know I can swim faster than I can walk in the water. The second loop flew by as before I knew it I was out of the water. Again, I swam until it was too shallow to do so. I saw my husband and gave him a thumbs up signal. It was quite a shock hitting the cold air - I ran and grabbed my bike gear bag, then into the women's change tent. Pandemonium! Everyone was shivering and shaking. The volunteers were amazing - they were getting the athletes chicken broth and warming them with towels. A wonderful woman helped me get my wetsuit off (I skipped the strippers, who were outside) and helped me dry off with a towel. The woman on the chair next to me was in bad shape - she was sitting there, getting rubbed down, so cold she couldn't move. I worried about her (but happily I saw her later on the run course so I knew she was okay). My T1 time was 17 minutes but that was the best I could do. I layered up on the bike - toe covers, leg warmers tucked under bike shorts, jersey, arm warmers, full gloves, vest and a SmartWool headband under my helmet. I downed a Genucan and was off.
The first 20 miles were a blur. Its a slight downhill until about mile 30. We were in the shade, and it was about 37 degrees. I was happy for my layers. I LOVE Genucan, but it tends to go right through me. The downhill was a great opportunity to pee. Nice that it was warm, but it cooled off quick, adding to the cold feeling in my legs. I never pee on the bike during training rides, but always during races. I can't stand the feeling of a full bladder in aero. Not to mention, if I don't pee, I won't want to hydrate. And at altitude, hydration becomes even more important than usual. On the bike I had Perpetuem in one bottle and water with Nuun in another bottle. Also was popping Endurolytes. Started hydrating soon into the bike and started the Perpetuem about 1:30 into the bike. The bike:
This pic is late in the race after I took off the arm warmers and switched to my fingerless gloves, at about mile 85. I am coming down Brockway for the second time.
This pic is at mile 50 (taken by a teammate - thank you!). Seriously, look at the scenery. How can you not smile on a day like this?? By the way, this Brooks vest I am wearing is the same one I wore for my first marathon in 2007 (Seattle Marathon). I love this vest.
A word on the bike course. Its 2 loops, each with 2 gigantic climbs (Martis and Brockway, which are back to back). The third section is from King's Beach back to Squaw Valley - and has a nice semi-descent where you can spin out your legs and prepare for the run. The bike profile lists the elevation gain at 6550 feet. Starting at 6248 and ending at 7228. So there is 1000 feet of altitude on the bike. My Garmin profile shows a slightly different elevation gain of 8360. Other athletes are reporting 7400 to 7500 of gain.
I ride a lot of hills, living where I do, and really enjoy them. Its the flats that get me, so this type of course is great for me. The key is to spin easy up the hills and stay in zone 2/low zone 3 as best you can. My pace was about the same as everyone else, although I did pass a few people, notably a some guys with disc wheels attempting to go aero up the hills. Occasionally I would get passed by someone mashing up the hills, breathing hard. I wanted to say "Stop doing that! Save some for the run!"
Stopped once at bike special needs to grab my second set of fuel and hydration and to down another Genucan. This attempt was a little messy and I ended up with Genucan down the sides of my face, which immediately got me thinking about that scene in the Hobbit where the dwarves are drinking beer and its running down the sides of their beards. But I digress.
The second loop was a bit warmer than the first. I rode even splits, which made me happy. It was a great ride - challenging but so incredibly beautiful. At mile 100 I started to prepare for the run.
T2 was quick and easy. Volunteers take your bike and another volunteer has your run gear. Again, the volunteers do their job talking to you, assessing you, and dressing you! I did another complete outfit change. Running shoes, new socks, Nike running shorts and my trusty Sugoi tri top (with arm warmers tucked in the back just in case). It had warmed up to 60 by then. Perfect. Hit the porta pottie and had a volunteer rub me down with sunscreen. I was off. And BOY, was I off! I started running and felt terrific. No brick-y feeling in my legs AT ALL. I was thrilled. Running is my first love and I was so glad to be there. My plan was to walk the aid stations but the old legs didn't agree with that plan. I stayed in a steady zone 2 the entire run, with the exception of a couple short but very steep hills when I did walk (in an attempt to stay out of lactic). The run leaves Squaw and heads up a steady incline towards the river trail. Then you go down a short trail which leads to the paved river trail. Absolutely gorgeous. I was running well and feeling good. Didn't have anything in my mind, other than just gliding along. No rock songs, no mantras. Just executing the plan. My stomach was little tight, so I didn't take in anything on the run other than chicken brother and an occasional sip of water or sports drink. Here I am early on in the run:
I stopped at special needs to pick up my Sugoi long sleeve top, SmartWool gloves and SmartWool hat. I didn't put these on right away, but I knew I would need it all eventually.
Smiling and happy to be running. There were lots of people walking. The marathoner in me was like, oh, yeah....I am runner, baby! Except then my husband took this picture:
LOL! This picture cracks me up!
Later in the run I looked like this:
Giving my youngest a high-five. My husband, kids, and in-laws (who live a couple hours from Tahoe) were hanging out, just after mile 1.5. As this is a 2 loop course (yes, you have to go back through the Village and by the finish line on the start of loop 2), I got to see them 3 times. It was GREAT to have them there. I had a great run in general. The only time I felt a little dark was starting the second loop. It was tough to go back through the Village and out again. I saw the family for the last time at mile 16 or so. My husband said "see you at the finish line." 8 miles to go. The mental "dark" cleared at about mile 20, as the sun was setting. I caught a second wind and was able to run strong the rest of the way. Plus at mile 23 it occurred to me that my coach would make me take some time off, so I better enjoy the run while I could!
Words cannot express how exciting it was to come up to the finish and run down that finisher's chute. I saw my in-laws first and waved to them. Right towards the finish I saw my husband and ran over to grab hands with him and my kids. I threw my hands up in the air and a feeling of total elation came over me. I heard "Rebecca Adamson, you are an Ironman!" This was one of the greatest moments of my life!
1:08 swim 7:04 bike 4:26 run. Total with transition: 13:03 for 15th in AG. Currently, according to Triathlete.com, Ironman Lake Tahoe had a dropout rate second only to St. George 2012, with 1719 finishers. 21% DNS and 20% DNF rate.
Many thanks to everyone who helped me get here! To the love of my life, Matt Adamson and my wonderful children. Thank you for being there and for all your support along the way. Thank you to coach Brandon and coach Jeff from PRS FIT for all your guidance and training. Thank you to all my teammates at PRS FIT! You guys are awesome and motivate me every day. Thank you to Dina at Fuel4mance for helping with race day nutrition. And special thank you to Acupuncture Clinic Northwest - without you I wouldn't be here!
The inaugural IMLT took place September 22nd, 2013. I flew down the Monday before the race, in order to get acclimated to the elevation (6250 ft). I live outside of Seattle, in the suburb of Sammamish (so basically sea level).
I was fortunate enough to be able to stay with my brother-in-law, who lives in Incline Village, which is 4-5 miles from King's Beach (swim start and T1). T2 is located up at Squaw Valley, about a 40 minute drive from Incline Village. Huge thanks to Ryan Adamson to putting me up for the week!
The first thing I did Monday after getting settled was head down to the beach at Incline to get in a practice swim. I wanted to check out the water temperature, as well and get a sense of how the altitude would affect my swim. It was in the high 70s Monday, and I swam late afternoon. The water temp was excellent and I didn't feel any altitude affect, to my surprise (having swum at altitude before, I knew it could be a factor). I met a nice lady from the East Coast on the beach, who wished me luck on race day.
Tuesday I drove up to 8,000 feet, just shy of Mt. Rose. The plan was to run at Mt. Rose (9,000), but due to the high winds I felt it prudent to head back to the valley, where there was another hiking trail (Tahoe Rim Trail). It was a cold morning, but beautiful. Running on the flats was fine, but any incline was immediately difficult. Bonus to altitude - Garmin finds satellites really fast. Here is a picture of my run:
Wednesday was another swim day. I went early in the morning, to simulate race day as best I could. The wind really picked up Tuesday (there was a wind advisory) and the temperature dropped. I knew all the churn would affect the water temperature. The Wednesday swim was cold. The air temp was around 40 and the water temp low 60s. Swimming in the clear water with the sun shining was beautiful, despite the cold. I did 3125 yards in 50 minutes and was pleased with how I felt. Here is a pic of me post swim:
I had a mild headache all week, but a little ibuprofen and a lot of hydration (water, coconut water and Nuun) helped with that. Thursday I could finally pick up my bike from Tri Bike Transport. I headed to Squaw early, to get in line for athlete registration. It went quickly and I had an opportunity to talk with other athletes and check out Ironman Village. I found a booth selling Aquaman wetsuits and fortunately they had swim booties. My biggest issue Wednesday was cold feet in the water, not to mention the cold sand. Best purchase ever, but more on that later. Picked up my bike from TBT and rented some Zipp wheels. During the wait for the wheels, I took advantage of the massage table. They were doing ART (Active Release Therapy), which felt great on my calves. (See previous blog post about my Plantar Fasciitis and recovery). Did a little shake out ride, to make sure everything was in working order. I didn't ride too long, as it was hot out and I had a pretty bad headache.
Friday. Up early to ride, again simulating start time on the bike. By this time everyone on social media was concerned about the predicted cold temps on race day. Some people thought the swim would be cancelled. There was a storm predicted for Saturday - rain and wind- which was supposed to clear sunday. I had anticipated a cold bike start, and layered up for my ride. 10 minutes into it I flatted. I have never had a flat tire (except on the trainer) in my entire life, and I have biked a LOT. Luckily I was within walking distance of the condo so I clip clopped my way back and called my coach, Brandon Wood from PRS FIT. Brandon has been coaching me since spring of 2011 and he knows how my brain works. I told him the situation, and that I wanted my regular wheels back. He said, absolutely, go back and get them. He knew I would worry the entire time about flatting again on the Zipp wheels. So I loaded my bike back in my brother-in-law's car and drove back to Squaw. The guys at Zipp were fairly understanding about swapping out my wheels and giving me a refund. The lost time meant I couldn't practice at race time (approx. 8:30am) and test out my gear, but I am glad I flatted on a practice ride and not on race day. I did brick run as well after I rode later in the day. Still felt the altitude, but not as much as on Tuesday's run.
Friday was also the athlete's dinner and mandatory meeting. I had a great time talking with other athletes at the dinner and listening to the speeches. The race director and course directors did a great job at the meeting, emphasizing that the temps would be cold and to dress accordingly on the bike. Got back about 8:30pm and was very happy to see my husband and kids, who drove down that day.
Saturday was windy and rainy as predicted. Did one last short bike ride and then took my bike and gear bags to be dropped off. The bike gear bags were left outside, so I duct taped the closure and put the bag inside a clear plastic bag. Also put a plastic bag over my saddle. Drove up to Squaw to drop off the run bag, which was inside, thankfully. We picked up the VIP bracelets for my husband and kids (thank you coach Jeff!!!). Everyone was worried about the temps. I talked to coach Brandon one more time and got some much needed reassurance that all would be well.
Race day. Woke up to clear skies and below freezing temps. My brother in law has the most ridiculously awesome espresso machine I have ever seen. You just pop in a little K-cup (although these were imported) and it makes one cup at a time. Had my pre-race go-to fuel of a banana, Adams peanut butter and greek yogurt. Filled up my hydration for the bike and we were off to the start. I had fleece pants, top, plus a wool hat and gloves. We scored a parking spot right across the street from King's Beach. Dropped off my special needs bags, then went through body marking and to check out my bike. How to be popular in an Ironman: bring a bike pump! Made some new friends, then brought the pump back to my husband, who was just outside transition. I told him how to get to where my bike was (at the northern most part of T1), so he met me and talked to me while I lubed up and put on my wetsuit. Here is what it looked like before the swim:
The first 20 miles were a blur. Its a slight downhill until about mile 30. We were in the shade, and it was about 37 degrees. I was happy for my layers. I LOVE Genucan, but it tends to go right through me. The downhill was a great opportunity to pee. Nice that it was warm, but it cooled off quick, adding to the cold feeling in my legs. I never pee on the bike during training rides, but always during races. I can't stand the feeling of a full bladder in aero. Not to mention, if I don't pee, I won't want to hydrate. And at altitude, hydration becomes even more important than usual. On the bike I had Perpetuem in one bottle and water with Nuun in another bottle. Also was popping Endurolytes. Started hydrating soon into the bike and started the Perpetuem about 1:30 into the bike. The bike:
A word on the bike course. Its 2 loops, each with 2 gigantic climbs (Martis and Brockway, which are back to back). The third section is from King's Beach back to Squaw Valley - and has a nice semi-descent where you can spin out your legs and prepare for the run. The bike profile lists the elevation gain at 6550 feet. Starting at 6248 and ending at 7228. So there is 1000 feet of altitude on the bike. My Garmin profile shows a slightly different elevation gain of 8360. Other athletes are reporting 7400 to 7500 of gain.
Stopped once at bike special needs to grab my second set of fuel and hydration and to down another Genucan. This attempt was a little messy and I ended up with Genucan down the sides of my face, which immediately got me thinking about that scene in the Hobbit where the dwarves are drinking beer and its running down the sides of their beards. But I digress.
The second loop was a bit warmer than the first. I rode even splits, which made me happy. It was a great ride - challenging but so incredibly beautiful. At mile 100 I started to prepare for the run.
T2 was quick and easy. Volunteers take your bike and another volunteer has your run gear. Again, the volunteers do their job talking to you, assessing you, and dressing you! I did another complete outfit change. Running shoes, new socks, Nike running shorts and my trusty Sugoi tri top (with arm warmers tucked in the back just in case). It had warmed up to 60 by then. Perfect. Hit the porta pottie and had a volunteer rub me down with sunscreen. I was off. And BOY, was I off! I started running and felt terrific. No brick-y feeling in my legs AT ALL. I was thrilled. Running is my first love and I was so glad to be there. My plan was to walk the aid stations but the old legs didn't agree with that plan. I stayed in a steady zone 2 the entire run, with the exception of a couple short but very steep hills when I did walk (in an attempt to stay out of lactic). The run leaves Squaw and heads up a steady incline towards the river trail. Then you go down a short trail which leads to the paved river trail. Absolutely gorgeous. I was running well and feeling good. Didn't have anything in my mind, other than just gliding along. No rock songs, no mantras. Just executing the plan. My stomach was little tight, so I didn't take in anything on the run other than chicken brother and an occasional sip of water or sports drink. Here I am early on in the run:
Later in the run I looked like this:
Words cannot express how exciting it was to come up to the finish and run down that finisher's chute. I saw my in-laws first and waved to them. Right towards the finish I saw my husband and ran over to grab hands with him and my kids. I threw my hands up in the air and a feeling of total elation came over me. I heard "Rebecca Adamson, you are an Ironman!" This was one of the greatest moments of my life!
1:08 swim 7:04 bike 4:26 run. Total with transition: 13:03 for 15th in AG. Currently, according to Triathlete.com, Ironman Lake Tahoe had a dropout rate second only to St. George 2012, with 1719 finishers. 21% DNS and 20% DNF rate.
Many thanks to everyone who helped me get here! To the love of my life, Matt Adamson and my wonderful children. Thank you for being there and for all your support along the way. Thank you to coach Brandon and coach Jeff from PRS FIT for all your guidance and training. Thank you to all my teammates at PRS FIT! You guys are awesome and motivate me every day. Thank you to Dina at Fuel4mance for helping with race day nutrition. And special thank you to Acupuncture Clinic Northwest - without you I wouldn't be here!
Friday, September 13, 2013
I am 9 days out from Ironman Lake Tahoe. I got down to some serious thinking about it this morning on my run. Specifically, my goal time. A handful of people have asked and the honest answer is, I don't know. I want what a lot of athletes want - to finish under the cut-off, to hear my name called, and emerge and Ironman, happy and uninjured. A respectable time would be the icing on the cake.
6 months ago, I wasn't even running. In late June of 2012 I got a wicked case of plantar fasciitis. I had just run Boston and my training was at an all time high. I did IM Lake Stevens 70.3 in mid-July with great results. I thought after some time off running I would be back to it, PF-free. Days turned into weeks, and my foot just kept hurting. I stopped running. I biked, swam, and strength trained all summer. When the kids went back to school, I couldn't even walk with them because my foot hurt so bad. It would lock up in the car, watching tv, and always overnight. I wore the Straussburg sock. I stretched, iced, rolled. Nothing helped. Finally I saw a podiatrist who gave me a cortisone injection and a month long prescription for intense anti-inflammatories. The cortisone worked for a bit, then wore off. The anti-inflams just made my stomach hurt. I had custom orthotics made. For me, it made my foot worse. I spent months after that working back up to just being in bare feet again.
I finally went to a physical therapist who had promising results with Asytm therapy. This I did for 3 months. Astym, lots of exercises, stretching, and ice. He asked me to stop swimming and cycling so nothing would aggravate my calves. This I did - for 5 weeks. I was miserable. My foot still wasn't getting any better and I was lethargic and cried a lot. I missed running, and without swimming and cycling I had nothing to keep me sane. I eventually just stopped going to PT - it was crazy expensive and I was getting nowhere.
One day (probably during a crying jag), while stretching, I had had enough. I went on-line and booked an appointment with the first local acupuncturist I could find. As luck would have it, I was able to go that very day.
That day turned my entire injury around. The acupuncturist had a completely different attitude. This was whole body and mind treatment. He didn't make any sweeping promises about getting better in a short time. He could see how my much pain my mind was in. After telling him my entire story, and after a couple sessions, he simply said "Rebecca, I think you should just go run."
And I did. I got an inexpensive pair of neutral shoes with high cushioning. I went out 10 minutes. It hurt. Bad. Not the PF but my body. After not running for 10 months...it was really hard. I started every other day. 10 minutes became a mile, then 2, then 3, then 4 and so on. I started working with my coach again. I felt normal. The acupuncture was helping the PF. It was still there, but not the debilitating "for crying out loud, I can't even walk my kid to school" kind of pain. I ran, I iced. I massaged and compression socked and went to acupuncture every week. I couldn't believe what was happening. Increasing mileage and I was ok! I trained for the Seattle-to-Portland bike ride and the Fat Salmon 3.2 mile open water swim. I was happy. I had capped my runs at 10 miles and that was fine by me.
When the opportunity came up for an entry for Ironman Lake Tahoe, I couldn't pass it up. I had enough time to increase my run mileage. My swim was there, as was my bike. I did multiple century rides, on top of what I had already done in preparation for Seattle to Portland - which ended up being a great weekend. 152 miles the first day and 55 the next, a lot of it at tempo. I was very pleased with my Fat Salmon 3.2 time. 1:35 per 100 - which for me is fast. I ran 11, then 13, then 15, 17, 18.5, 19.3 and finally 21 miles. More long runs than I did when I ran my PR (3:26) at Portland 2011! I even did a spur of the moment Sprint (1.4/13.8/4.3) and ended up 3rd in AG, 4th overall. All this time I kept going to acupuncture, increasing my miles, and waiting for the "other shoe to drop." It hasn't, and here I am 9 days out, having completed a ton of training and coming through it uninjured. I suppose the reason I haven't given much thought to a goal time is that I am kind of surprised to even be here. But here I am. My zone 2 isn't what it used to be, and I find myself not really worrying about that, despite the fact that I worked to hard to get it where it was in 2012. What is most important is that running feels like it used to feel, and that's what makes me the most happy.
My Ironman is in 9 days. In my mind, it will be the completion of a long journey. Not one I had planned on, but they seldom are. At the end of it all, I feel lucky and happy to just be here.
6 months ago, I wasn't even running. In late June of 2012 I got a wicked case of plantar fasciitis. I had just run Boston and my training was at an all time high. I did IM Lake Stevens 70.3 in mid-July with great results. I thought after some time off running I would be back to it, PF-free. Days turned into weeks, and my foot just kept hurting. I stopped running. I biked, swam, and strength trained all summer. When the kids went back to school, I couldn't even walk with them because my foot hurt so bad. It would lock up in the car, watching tv, and always overnight. I wore the Straussburg sock. I stretched, iced, rolled. Nothing helped. Finally I saw a podiatrist who gave me a cortisone injection and a month long prescription for intense anti-inflammatories. The cortisone worked for a bit, then wore off. The anti-inflams just made my stomach hurt. I had custom orthotics made. For me, it made my foot worse. I spent months after that working back up to just being in bare feet again.
I finally went to a physical therapist who had promising results with Asytm therapy. This I did for 3 months. Astym, lots of exercises, stretching, and ice. He asked me to stop swimming and cycling so nothing would aggravate my calves. This I did - for 5 weeks. I was miserable. My foot still wasn't getting any better and I was lethargic and cried a lot. I missed running, and without swimming and cycling I had nothing to keep me sane. I eventually just stopped going to PT - it was crazy expensive and I was getting nowhere.
One day (probably during a crying jag), while stretching, I had had enough. I went on-line and booked an appointment with the first local acupuncturist I could find. As luck would have it, I was able to go that very day.
That day turned my entire injury around. The acupuncturist had a completely different attitude. This was whole body and mind treatment. He didn't make any sweeping promises about getting better in a short time. He could see how my much pain my mind was in. After telling him my entire story, and after a couple sessions, he simply said "Rebecca, I think you should just go run."
And I did. I got an inexpensive pair of neutral shoes with high cushioning. I went out 10 minutes. It hurt. Bad. Not the PF but my body. After not running for 10 months...it was really hard. I started every other day. 10 minutes became a mile, then 2, then 3, then 4 and so on. I started working with my coach again. I felt normal. The acupuncture was helping the PF. It was still there, but not the debilitating "for crying out loud, I can't even walk my kid to school" kind of pain. I ran, I iced. I massaged and compression socked and went to acupuncture every week. I couldn't believe what was happening. Increasing mileage and I was ok! I trained for the Seattle-to-Portland bike ride and the Fat Salmon 3.2 mile open water swim. I was happy. I had capped my runs at 10 miles and that was fine by me.
When the opportunity came up for an entry for Ironman Lake Tahoe, I couldn't pass it up. I had enough time to increase my run mileage. My swim was there, as was my bike. I did multiple century rides, on top of what I had already done in preparation for Seattle to Portland - which ended up being a great weekend. 152 miles the first day and 55 the next, a lot of it at tempo. I was very pleased with my Fat Salmon 3.2 time. 1:35 per 100 - which for me is fast. I ran 11, then 13, then 15, 17, 18.5, 19.3 and finally 21 miles. More long runs than I did when I ran my PR (3:26) at Portland 2011! I even did a spur of the moment Sprint (1.4/13.8/4.3) and ended up 3rd in AG, 4th overall. All this time I kept going to acupuncture, increasing my miles, and waiting for the "other shoe to drop." It hasn't, and here I am 9 days out, having completed a ton of training and coming through it uninjured. I suppose the reason I haven't given much thought to a goal time is that I am kind of surprised to even be here. But here I am. My zone 2 isn't what it used to be, and I find myself not really worrying about that, despite the fact that I worked to hard to get it where it was in 2012. What is most important is that running feels like it used to feel, and that's what makes me the most happy.
My Ironman is in 9 days. In my mind, it will be the completion of a long journey. Not one I had planned on, but they seldom are. At the end of it all, I feel lucky and happy to just be here.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Training for endurance events requires commitment, consistency, and if you are lucky, a healthy and unending dose of motivation. It is all fun and games when you register for an Iron distance event (Ironman or other 140.6). You feel some nerves, but the good kind. The kind that say "let's do this." The announcement goes out on Facebook and you starting telling your friends and writing about your training experiences.
Over time, weekends get longer and longer. Some days, it gets harder and harder to get out the door and stay motivated. Some days are great, but some days are very dark and you find yourself going to places in your mind that you didn't know existed and would rather not revisit.
Lack of motivation and difficult training days happen, but if persist, then point to a larger problem with training. You might be overtraining, not resting/recovering enough between hard efforts, or its time to take a hard look at your nutrition (during the day and during workouts).
What else can you do to stay motivated and feeling strong during training for a long endurance event?
1) Use local century rides for your long rides. Some have relatively low entry fees, and most have good support (stops with porta potties, restrooms, hydration and real food). Plus the route is mapped for you - all you have to do is follow it. This allows you to focus completely on your effort, and staying on top of fueling.
2) Nap. Yes, nap. If you feel drowsy, a short nap is better than a cup of coffee or something with sugar. You are training hard, expect your body to ask for more rest. And listen. Go to bed early. You will never regret extra sleep.
3) You are a jet engine. Fuel accordingly. This means lean protein, good fats, plenty of fresh fruit and veggies, fiber and clean water. Avoid white carbs, sugar, and processed foods. You are fine tuning your body to be a machine, and it requires only the best foods for performance. Resist temptation to cheat. This can be tricky sometimes in social situations, however, stay strong. Think seriously about how what you eat will affect your next workout.
4) Sign up for a short race. On a short, or recovery week, go ahead and do a Sprint or an Olympic tri. And do it purely for the fun of it. It will be a nice change of pace, as well as a chance to practice transitions. The more your practice, the more your body remembers what to do. Short races are little treats for your training.
5) Listen to your coach. Trust that they have your back. It is easy to lose perspective and want to push more or less. Be assured that your coach is highly motivated to get you to the start line well prepared, healthy and mentally ready. Being honest in your training logs ensures that your coach knows all the details, and can be prepare you for the race.
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