Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Back to running?

This post won't be informative in any meaningful way.  No hot tips or workout ideas.  Just me, talking about "testing out" my foot.  PF invaded 6 months ago, and I haven't really run since.  At first I was in denial.  Then angry.  For a long, long, time...I was angry.  Then sad.  I'm not a cryer but missing my runs, yeah, I cried.  A lot.  Running has always been my best friend.  And I miss it terribly.  Thank goodness I can swim and bike and strength train, otherwise I probably would have lost my mind.  I missed out on fall racing season - a 70.3 and marathon I was signed up for (it was NYC, and we all know how that turned out). 

Turns out I have a huge ego.  Who knew?  I guess deep down I've always considered myself to be pretty indestructible.  And I'm used to signing up for races and kicking serious ass.  This injury has humbled me beyond anything else I've experienced.  When it hurts to walk, yeah, you're humbled.

Now, I've accepted it.  Been rehabbing as best as I can.  Strength training, stretching, rolling, icing, orthotics, cortisone, Straussburg sock, boot...on and on it goes.  I'm down to about 1% pain.  On a level of 1-10, I'm at a 1.  Stuck at a one.  This stupid stuff just will not let go.  But the podiatrist said I'm ok to go ahead and test it out.  Running.  Well...I hesitate to call it running.  I'm jogging.  Toodling along.  7 mos. ago this would have flattened me mentally, but now I'm beyond grateful for it.  Started with 1 mile, then 1.5, then just shy of 3 today.  Foot is "ok."  Still at a 1.  I hope the podiatrist is right that eventually this will heal.  I miss speedwork.  I miss the thrill, the endorphin party.  I miss how GOOD I was at this.  I could bang out sub 7's for my 8x7s and I was close to all 6:30s for my 5x7s.  Its all gone.  Faded away.  I don't want to be put out to pasture at age 38.

So I'm sucking it up and doing my best and taking it step by step.  Aqua-jogging.  Yoga.  I'm thinking a lot about what the lesson is.  Was it time for big-ego punishment?  Bad luck?  Or something else?  I certainly have learned a lot.  I wouldn't wish PF on my worst enemy.  Once it sinks its teeth in, you're dead meat.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I can take the dog for a walk without pain.  I can wake up in the morning and walk just fine.  Its going to be a long road, one that I hope I can take. 

I will be back.

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